Money, money, money! Think of all of the intense emotions
that money creates. There's probably nothing else in your
life that makes you crazier, more desperate, and more
unrealistic. I'm sure that like most people you have quite
a love-hate relationship with money. At the very least,
finances seems to always be at the forefront of your
thoughts and your life. It seems to rule your life.
Almost everyone believes that if they just had more money,
they would be happy. But, guess what? It's not true! Money,
in and of itself, does not bring happiness—it's been
proven again and again. In 1997, Hong and Duff researched
twenty factors that most people believed contribute to our
happiness. There were nineteen factors that they found do
increase our happiness level. But, surprise,
surprise...money was not one of them! Financial prosperity,
in fact, seems to have almost no effect on our level of
happiness. Let that fact sink deep into your brain.
You may think that somehow you are different. If you could
just make $25,000 more a year, you could pay the bills and
mortgage and live stress-fee. That would surely make a
person happy, right? Wrong...and the research proves it.
So, how can we truly realize that money doesn't buy
happiness? How on earth can it be done? Well, for starters,
if you believe that mere money will make you happy, then
you have a dysfunctional relationship with money. You are
placing unrealistic expectations upon what your finances
can do for you. The first thing you need to do is fix your
relationship with money so that it is healthy and
functional.
Don't get me wrong. We all need money. We need to pay the
rent, buy groceries, and pay for the car repairs. Those
things aren't magically going to take care of themselves.
So, yes, in a nutshell we do need a certain amount of
financial security. But, once we attain the basic
necessities of food and shelter, it really doesn't matter
how much we make. We're not going to be happier making
$150,000 a year.
This is the story of America. Whenever we make more money,
we want more things. We spend more, consume more and need
more.
A few years ago, Showtime produced an interesting
documentary. The documentary profiled Ted Rodrigue who had
been homeless for more than a decade. Ted was not an
alcoholic or drug-addict. He was completely sound of mind
and body. Ted blamed bad luck and unfortunate circumstances
on his homelessness.
Showtime gave Ted $100,000 in order to help him turn his
life around. In addition, they offered him counseling and
an opportunity for employment. Showtime was interested in
seeing if money would solve and erase all of Ted's problems.
In just a matter of months, Ted had spent all of his money
and was once again homeless. Money had not changed him or
solved any of his problems.
We tend to view this story with judgment. We somehow think
that we would never make the same decisions that Ted did.
But, why do over 90% of ALL people who come into money lose
it after a few years? Moreover, most of these same people
end up declaring bankruptcy and are worse-off than where
they started!
Don't trick yourself into thinking that money magically
solves all of your problems. It generally carries with it a
whole new set of problems that most people are not equipped
to solve effectively.
Even if you achieve all the riches that your heart desires,
you will not change. That much is true. If you are unhappy
now, you will be unhappy with riches. If you constantly
look for outside factors to make you happy, you will look
for outside factors to make you happy with riches.
But, there is an important first step: fix your
relationship with your money—now! Your money has been
controlling your life and you have allowed it. Stop. This
is the first thing that must change. You must control your
money. You are in charge. Money is your servant. However,
to be in charge of your financial situation, you will need
to learn how to be a good and fair master. If you learn
these strategies, money will work hard for you.
However, most people are slaves to their money. Their
finances rule their lives and often dictate their emotions
and feelings. This needs to change. You must learn to be in
complete command. Money is your servant and you hold all of
the power.
But how do you fix this relationship? You have allowed your
finances to control your life for years. How do you now
take back the reins and put yourself in charge of your
money? It is the exact same way that you would fix any
problem—hard work and dedication.
The first thing you need to do is change your views about
your finances. You need to look at money in a way that you
never have before. You are going to take a fresh
perspective on this relationship.
At this moment in time, how do you view your relationship
with money? Do you feel like it has too much control over
your feelings and your life? Do you hate what it has done
to your life? Do you feel like it is ruining your life?
You must take full responsibility for your problematic
relationship with money. You have allowed your finances to
control your life. You have not been in control. If you are
willing to admit it, most of your problems with your money
are because you are not the one in charge. You allowed your
money to run rampant and get out of control. You spent,
borrowed, spent again and lost control.
However, it is not too late. You can still learn the
strategies to take back control and insist that your money
work for you. You will now be in charge.
You will become the master of your money and will learn to
use it carefully. Even though you will learn to control
your money, you still must treat it with great concern. You
need to reflect on how you have treated your money in the
past. Were you careless? Were you appreciative? Did you
take it for granted? Were you abusive? Did you always want
more and more even though you didn't always treat money
well?
Just like with any problem in life, you need to learn
strategies that will put you at peace with your finances.
Money will always be in your life—just like a
difficult mother-in-law. There is nothing you can do to get
rid of your money problems. You simply need to learn to
take control and deal effectively with your financial
situation.
The more you carelessly toss money around, the less control
you will have. Instead, you need to take the reins and put
yourself back in charge of all of your financial problems.
There are many solutions that will move you into this
position.
However, until you truly understand that it is you that
must always be in absolute control, money will control your
life.
Even though you are the master, you must always treat money
well. You need to appreciate and not take it for granted.
Once you begin to take back control over your finances your
relationship will immediately change.
You will soon begin to have a healthy relationship with
your money. You will soon stop expecting so much and
instead be appreciative of all that you already have.
In fact, your money is much like a child and needs rules,
boundaries and discipline to fully function. It does not
want to be in charge. In fact, your money is crying out for
you to take control!
Your money is willing to work hard for you, you just need
to step up, take responsibility and learn the strategies to
put yourself in charge.
----------------------------------------------------
Jessica Swanson is an extremely successful entrepreneur
,marketer and life coach. She has acheived a high
six-figure income and has mentored hundreds of others to
achieve the same. You can visit her at
http://www.UnlimitedProsperityTeam.com
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